Class 5
ARE YOU UNGRATEFUL?
OR A TROUBLEMAKER?
Ingratitude to Allah is a common quality among mankind. But that does not make it acceptable. It is an attitude that is defective, and can corrupt spirituality and closeness to Allah.
The concept of ingratitude to Allah is mentioned in the Quran in at least 26 verses. Allah says,
“Indeed Allah is the possessor of bounty for all people but most people do not give thanks.” (Al-Baqarah 2: 243).
“And He gave you of all that you asked for, and if you count the Blessings of Allah, never will you be able to count them. Verily! Man is indeed an extreme wrong-doer…” (14:34)
“O man! What has made you careless concerning your Lord, the Most Generous?” (82:6)
“It is Allah Who has given you the night in which to rest and the day in which to see. Allah is truly bountiful to people, but most people do not give thanks”. (Al-Ghafir 40:61)
The subject of gratitude is one of great importance. Its benefits are beyond enumeration such that it’s even a cure to the depressed. The act of ingratitude which is its opposite is a form of arrogance that leads to transgression. It’s also known as Ungratefulness, a bad habit detested by Allah and parallel to disbelief. That’s why it’s not a characteristic of the believing people. You cannot be a true believer if you’re ungrateful to Allah and show ingratitude to the people. This is what leads us to the theme of this piece — a beautiful Hadith from Allah’s Apostle ﷺ who said, “Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah.” ( Sunan Abī Dāwūd)
Shaytaan’s challenge
“Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You).” (7: 17)
What leads to Ingratitude? Do you do these?
1) Taking things for granted.
Things that we enjoy all our lives often remain unnoticed. These could include our health, the functioning of our body, food, shelter, the people in our lives, access to amenities, etc. Not being consciously aware of these blessings can devalue them.
2) Focusing on what is wrong in our lives rather than what is right.
Difficulties in life hurt, and receive quick attention. It is easy to feel sad about them, and overlook all else. We forget the many things in our lives that are right.
3) Comparing with others and constantly yearning for what they have.
Other people seem to have more, are happier, more successful, don’t have difficulties . . . these illusions cloud judgment and attitude, and make us dissatisfied with life.
Common forms of Ingratitude.
Are you involved in any of these?
1. Ingratitude to Parents
After Allah’s ordinance on our creation, then comes our parents as the basic reason for our existence. Without them, there’s definitely no us. A child receives love, care, education from parents all life, but never thanks them, becomes impatient, complains parents didn’t do enough, or ignores them when older. Especially those of us who still have them alive, we take the blessing of seeking their pleasure for granted. Once upon a time, parents were so precious and highly respected. In today’s world, they are seen as a thorn in our lives. They showed mercy on us, made sacrifices, and went through pain for us to be successful in life, yet little thanks do we give to them. As part of ways to show gratitude to them is by being dutiful. Respect them, do not shout on them, show them kindness and help with their needs. Allah equates goodness to parents next to His worship. This tells that it is one of the most beloved acts to Him. Allah says,
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” (Al-Isra’ : 23-24)
2. Ungratefulness towards Spouses
Many of us these days fail to appreciate our spouses. Whether we realize it or not, marriage is a tough union with imperfect beings. Expressions of gratitude should come from both parties. A man should appreciate his wife for all the time and efforts she put into keeping the house in shape. However, there’s more emphasis on the wife to show gratitude to her husband. This comes from a very scary Hadith:
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.”
Sahaba asked, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?”
He ﷺ said, “Because of their ingratitude”. They asked, “Are they ungrateful to Allah?”
He ﷺ said, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one undesirable thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
A virtuous woman is one who obeys Allah and is thankful to her husband. No matter how small the effort he puts, appreciate it and make dua’ for him.
The men also need to show gratitude to their wives. That’s the Sunnah! On Eid ul Adha, the Prophet ﷺ would send meat to the friends of Khadijah R.A. even after he passing away. When he was asked why, he ﷺ would say, "Khadijah was such and such (commending her and speaking well of her), and I had children from her". (Sahih Bukhari)
Gratitude strengthens marriages by fostering trust, enhancing emotional connection, increasing satisfaction, and improving resilience during hardship. Expressing gratitude activates the "love hormone" oxytocin, creates positive interaction spirals, and reduces negativity, helping partners focus on their spouse's positive qualities and feel valued and understood. It promotes open communication, kindness, and mutual support, leading to more satisfying relationships and a stronger sense of commitment.
3. Unthankfulness to those who help us
A simple life etiquette is that we express thankfulness to those who help us. While kindness doesn’t cost a thing, it befits the one who received a good treat to express gratitude in words and actions. If it’s hard for you to be thankful to people who help you meet your needs, then you’d definitely be ungrateful to the one who ordained that they will help you fulfill that need. An expression of gratitude can be as simple as a good word: ‘Thank You’ with a smile. And in a superior form, say a prayer jazakumullahu khayran — may Allah reward you with good.
4. Constant Complaining / Dissatisfaction
Allah says,“Indeed, humankind is ungrateful to their Lord.” (Sūrah Al‑ʿĀdiyāt 100:6)
A common example is when one has a stable job, food at home, family, but is always complaining: “I hate my work,” “My salary is too small” etc., ignoring that many have no job, no salary. They don’t say Alhamdulillah for what they do have, but dwell on what they lack.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “The one among you who wakes up secure in his property, healthy in his body and has his food for the day, it is as if the whole world were brought to him.” (Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad).
There are so many privileges we have that others Lack. Access to education, clean water, freedom; many forget how easily these can be taken away, or how many people struggle without these. This is why the Prophet ﷺ said, "Look at those who are inferior to you and do not look at those who are superior to you, for this will keep you from belittling Allah's favour to you." (Bukhari & Muslim)
5. Attributing one’s success only to self, denying Allah’s help
Allah says, “He said, ‘This has been given to me because of knowledge I possess.’ Did he not know that Allah had destroyed generations before him who were greater than him in power…” (Sūrah Al‑Qasas 28:78)
An example of his would be, a professional gains high status, praises their intelligence / effort alone, refuses to acknowledge how opportunities, mentors, supportive family, Allah’s ease helped them. They may stop doing prayers or dhikr because they feel “I got success by myself.”
6. Arrogance and Entitlement
Someone born into comfort expects higher ranks, luxury, denies poor people suffer; or someone who is wealthy feels they deserve all their wealth, treats helpers poorly, lashes out when they expect “respect” or “recognition” without thinking they owe Allah everything.
7. Envy and Jealousy
On social media one sees peers with fancy cars, trips, career success — instead of being happy, one becomes resentful, miserable, feels unfair, and complains, “Why not me?”, ignoring own blessings (family, health).
8. Not Using Blessings in a Halal or Productive Way
Blessings are trusts, stewardships. Using health, time, wealth in unlawful ways is a form of ingratitude. Allah says, “And whatever good you put forward for yourselves – you will find it with Allah.” (Surah Al‑Muzzammil 73:20) — implying to use blessings in good deeds.
Salaf also said: misuse of wealth or neglecting knowledge / health is a neglect of a blessing.
Examples of this are, having wealth but spending it wastefully, or on forbidden things, or hoarding; neglecting health (e.g. overeating, abusing the body) though being healthy is a great blessing, using strength to oppress the weak. Or something simple like having the ability to speak/teach but remaining silent when people need knowledge
9. Ingratitude to Allah
And this is the peak of them all, ungratefulness to the Almighty Creator. Allah fashioned you, provides for you, grants your protection albeit all of these, little thanks do you give in return. If we were to count His favors upon us, we wouldn’t be able to estimate it. Man is unjust to himself if he fails to be thankful to his Lord. The gift of life is a great blessing and the sweetness of faith is the highest honor. So give thanks to Allah for His blessings upon you and remember Allah is Self-Sufficient but it’s you who’s in need.
Allah says, “And indeed We bestowed upon Luqman Al-Hikmah (wisdom and religious understanding, etc.) saying: “Give thanks to Allah,” and whoever gives thanks, he gives thanks for (the good of) his ownself. And whoever is unthankful, then verily, Allah is All-Rich (Free of all wants), Worthy of all praise”. (Surah Luqman 31:12)
So gratefulness to Allah revolves around these five things as related by Imam ibn al-Qayyim. They are also known as the pillars of gratitude to Allah:
Submission of the believer to Allah
Love of Allah
Acknowledgment of His favors
Praising Him for these favors
Refraining from utilizing the favors in a way displeasing to Allah
This is why you should shun ingratitude
Here are a few reasons why unthankfulness should be avoided by a believer.
It leads to denial of Allah’s blessings
It’s a form of sin tantamount to disbelieve
Allah detests those who are ungrateful and leads to the wrath of Allah
It sometimes creeps in form of arrogance leading to pride.
The more unappreciative you are, the less benefit you get from people
Hardening of heart, distance from Allah
Possible punishment in the hereafter if persists
Ingratitude is a subtle yet destructive trait that disconnects the heart from Allah and distances a person from spiritual growth. As highlighted throughout this article, being ungrateful—whether to Allah, parents, spouses, or others—is a behavior condemned in the Qur'an and Sunnah, and often stems from arrogance, heedlessness, and entitlement. True believers are marked by humility, gratitude, and constant recognition of Allah’s countless blessings. Ingratitude, on the other hand, is a form of denial that can corrupt the soul and lead to sin.
So let this serve as a reminder: do not let ingratitude take root in your heart. Recognize your blessings, express thanks to your Creator and those around you, and strive to be among those whom Allah describes as “few of My servants are truly grateful.”
May Allah make us from those who are constantly grateful, protect our hearts from ingratitude, increase us in favour, strengthen our awareness, and accept our good deeds. Ameen.
ARE YOU A TROUBLE MAKER?
Being ungrateful doesn't just harm your relationship with Allah — it also creates tension and division within families. When a person constantly complains, minimizes the efforts of loved ones, or fails to express appreciation, it breeds resentment, emotional distance, and conflict.
This lack of gratitude weakens trust and unity, turning what should be a place of peace into a source of stress. Ingratitude fuels entitlement and arrogance, making a person more critical, demanding, and difficult to live with — ultimately becoming a source of trouble in the home. Gratitude, on the other hand, softens hearts, builds connection, and fosters an atmosphere of mutual care and understanding. To protect your family from falling into dysfunction, start by appreciating the people Allah has placed in your life — and say “Alhamdulillah” often, not just with your tongue, but through your actions.
In Islam, family unity and peace are of great importance. A "troublemaker" in a family—someone who causes discord, spreads negativity, or disrupts harmony—is warned against in many verses of the Qur’an and sayings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
Signs to check if you might be the Troublemaker in the Family
You Find Yourself at the Center of Most Conflicts, If you notice that drama, arguments, or misunderstandings frequently involve you, it's worth asking: “Am I reacting emotionally or escalating situations?” But we list below of the causes and signs of a trouble maker.
1. You Talk About Family Members Behind Their Backs (Gheebah)
Even if what you're saying is true, backbiting is a major sin.
“Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would detest it.” (Qur'an 49:12)
And the Prophet ﷺ said “Do you know what backbiting is? ...It is to mention something about your brother that he dislikes.” (Muslim)
Ask Youself:
· Do I talk negatively about others when they’re not present?
· Do I fuel others’ opinions against family members?
Do I frequently tell one family member what another said to spark conflict?
Do I enjoy seeing others argue or fall out?
Do I exaggerate or twist facts to provoke emotions?
2. You Often Feel the Need to “Be Right” in Every Argument
If winning arguments is more important to you than maintaining peace or understanding others, that’s a red flag. We read that one of the traits of the hypocrite is that they become harsh and abuse when they argue and they do this mainly because of they always feel the need to win.
But the Prophet ﷺ said the opposite. He ﷺ said, “I guarantee a house in Paradise for the one who gives up arguing, even if he is right.” (Abu Dawood)
3. You Struggle to Forgive or Hold Grudges
Holding onto hurt or refusing to reconcile goes against Islamic values of mercy and family ties.
“And let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you?”
(Qur'an 24:22)
And the Prophet ﷺ said, “Do not harbour grudge against one another, nor jealousy, nor enmity; and do not show your backs to one another; and become as fellow brothers and slaves of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim to avoid speaking with his brother beyond three days." (Bukhari & Muslim)
Ask Yourself:
· Do I bring up old issues frequently?
· Do I secretly want to see someone in the family “pay” for how they treated me?
4. Isolate, Exclude, or Create Cliques in the Family
Creating small groups within the family or intentionally excluding certain members can create fitnah (discord).
“Hold fast, all of you together, to the rope of Allah, and be not divided…” (Qur’an 3:103)
And the Prophet ﷺ, "When you are three persons sitting together, then no two of you should hold secret counsel excluding the third person until you are with some other people too, for that would grieve him." (Sahih Bukhari)
5. Struggle to Accept Advice (Naseehah)
If you get defensive, angry, or dismissive when corrected — even lovingly — it's a sign of pride and cause a lot of discord in the family.
Prophet ﷺ said:
“The religion is sincere advice.” (Muslim)
“No one who has an atom’s weight of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.”
(Muslim)“…The most hateful statement to Allah is for a man to say to another man, ‘Fear Allah!’ and he replies, ‘Mind yourself!’” (An Nisa’ii)
6. Frequently Criticize but Rarely Appreciate
If most of your interactions are complaints, sarcasm, or negativity, you may be draining the emotional well-being of those around you.
Ask youself:
· Am I quick to see faults but slow to praise?
· Do others feel safe or tense around me?
7. You're Often Unhappy When Others Are Praised or Loved
This could be a sign of hasad (envy) — which can deeply harm relationships.
In the end, each of us must take an honest look at our behavior and ask: Am I bringing peace to my family, or causing pain? The signs of being a troublemaker often hide behind justifications, pride, or hurt — but Islam teaches us to rise above these through humility, forgiveness, and sincere self-accountability. The Prophet ﷺ warned us against arrogance, envy, backbiting, and division — all of which are fuelled by ingratitude and self-centeredness. If you recognize any of these traits in yourself, don’t despair — recognize them, repent, and begin the journey of change. Seek Allah’s help, make amends with your loved ones, and renew your intention to be a source of mercy and harmony in your home. Saving yourself starts with awareness — and salvation begins with action. So take stock now, before a day comes when excuses will not save you.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "Should I not tell you what is better in degree than prayer, fasting, and charity. Is is, Reconciling people, for grudges and disputes are the razor (that shaves faith)." (Ahmad, Abu Dawood, and At-Tirmithi)
May Allah guide us to be among the grateful, the gentle, and the peacemakers in our families. Ameen.
TIPS FOR THE TEST
Do not have to memorise the ayahs or hadeeths word for word and their references, but remember their meanings and the msg being given.
Remember the signs of but more importantly try to get it out of your life (if you find any in yoursef).
ASSIGNMENT
There will be an Assignment Question asked in the Test. Marks will be given based on the following: -
I. Invite atleast 10 people to the course (can invite via WhatsApp, Facebook, Email, telegram or word of mouth) 4 Marks. (check the note below for exceptions)
Note:
Those who have already invited whether on Whatsapp, Email or FB, do not need to invite again.
It does not matter, whether people join or not, our job is to invite.
II. Reflect on yourself and make changes in your actions/attitude to get closer to the Sunnah. Repent to any of the mistakes that you have done and make intention of not repeating it for the sake of Allah. 10 Marks.
III. Talk to 5 people (friends or family) about any three topics from the course - (5 Marks)
IV. Pray for the Ummah, pray for the ease of all the poor & oppressed Muslims and Maghfirah of the Muslims who passed away. Pray that Allah make us all strong in imaan and give us the hidayah to work for the aakhirah and to help each other. - 1 Mark
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